Pondcakes
India: We’re doing an interview?
समाधिBot: Mm-hmm.
India: So this is your day off?
समाधिBot: No. We have five minutes.
India: Okay, so the interview’s running?
समाधिBot: Yessum.
India: Okay. That’s a pond. A frog pond, and you’re supposed to make it.
समाधिBot: M’kay…
India: I think there should be a little tunnel that goes to the stream so it can fill up.
समाधिBot: That’s a good idea.
India: Mm-hmm. I think it should be that deep there, that deep there, and that deep there.
समाधिBot: Are these numbered? One… three… is this two? Five?
India: Five.
समाधिBot: Five? What do the numbers mean?
India: Oh, that means how deep I want it. Twelve feet is the deep part.
समाधिBot: Oh twelve feet, okay.
India: Only not the… well more like a smaller twelve feet.
समाधिBot: Small — uh, okay. What’s the smaller twelve feet versus the larger twelve feet?
India: Well the smaller twelve feet is much smaller than the bigger twelve feet, because I can’t stand in twelve feet.
समाधिBot: Okay so a smaller one’s better?
India: Yeah, ‘cos it’s a frog and fish pond. And there are the little tadpoles. That’s why I wanted a shallow part, for the tadpoles. The two first hatched. The eggs are still getting ready to hatch.
समाधिBot: Are there eggs at the frog pond at the neighbors?
India: Yes?
समाधिBot: Is there still ice over the eggs?
India: Mmm. I think a little bit. Not that much.
समाधिBot: But the eggs are okay?
India: Yep. I’m thinking there should be something under the water to keep it from going away. And there should be a nice hole for the plant, right there, to get its root through.
समाधिBot: Do you know what kind of plant that is?
India: Some kind of pond plant.
समाधिBot: Okay. And there should be some fish in there too?
India: Yeah. This fish is nibbling at it.
समाधिBot: Are these fish?
India: Yes.
समाधिBot: And that’s a frog?
India: Yes. There are three frogs, two tadpoles, three fish, and one plant. And a bunch of eggs.
समाधिBot: I like that frog that’s up on the plant.
India: Yeah. He’s just acting amazing. He says, “Hey look at me, I’m amazing.” He’s planning to jump on to one of the tadpoles. Yeah so then he can bring it back and say, “Look what I caught!”
समाधिBot: Do adult frogs eat tadpoles?
India: Some do. Those are only the mean frogs.
India: Anyway, that’s a list of all your pancake things.
समाधिBot: Pancake things? I thought it was pond things.
India: Pancake things. See? Flour, milk — I think milk goes in it, I was just making a guess. Lemon zest, blueberries, water, that baking powder and baking soda stuff. Salt, sugar, vanilla. And here are the things that you put on it: butter and maple syrup.
समाधिBot: I was so distracted with my work that I thought you were bringing a list of things to put in the pond.
India: You can’t make pond cakes!
समाधिBot: Ohh, I said “pahn” cakes [imitating India’s accent], and it sounded like “pond” cakes. Maybe we could give out our secret pancake recipe.
India: So was that all the things I got?
समाधिBot: Yeah, lemon… these are blueberries?
India: Yes.
समाधिBot: Mm-hmm, okay. These are vegan pancakes too. I’ll list out a recipe.
India: Okay. How many things are in your pancakes?
समाधिBot: Um, I’ll have to count it up. I’ll make a list and count it up. What should the name of this interview be?
India: Pondcakes.
SamadhiBot Secret Pondcake Recipe
2 cups flour
1 tablespoon egg replacer*
1 tablespoon sugar
1 tsp salt
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
Zest from half a lemon
2 cups lead-free water
1 tsp vanilla
Big handful of blueberries
Mix together the dry ingredients. Stir in finely grated lemon zest, water and vanilla, and then add the blueberries last.
The lemon zest makes pondcakes darken more slowly; cooking at a higher than normal heat will compensate. Serve with butter and maple syrup. Avoid mangulating pondcakes when cutting them for children as it ruins the flavor.
* Ener-G is one good brand of egg replacer, but plain potato starch also works fine. You can substitute deux œufs de poule if you can come upon them, but in the case of pondcakes the vegan variety is better.
